You left us three years ago. They say time can heal pain, but I’m not sure about that, while I am typing these words with my eyes closed because of tears filling them too fast.

Three years ago my heart broke in thousands of pieces. I searched for you for so many months, hoping to find your eyes in the eyes of a cat somewhere, hoping to get a sign from somewhere that you were still with me and that maybe you took the shape of a kitty who was looking for a new house. I searched and searched, but I never found your eyes anywhere else.

How are things, you may ask me? Things are OK today. Your brother George is still with us. We got a big scare a couple of years ago, when he was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma but he is fighting the fight and he is doing fairly well. He just turned 13 and while I am so happy he is still with us, I always wonder why the world decided that you didn’t have the right to live a longer life. I still remember something that the vet told me when they diagnosed your illness: “she just got dealt a bad card when she was born”. This to me was such a cruel thing to say, as if your life was marked somehow since the day you were born, like you were an unlucky cat. But nobody knows like me how lucky you were, because you were beautiful and immensely sweet and because no other cat is like you and never will be.

George is doing well and we have two new friends at home, Brave and Manny. They are 2 years old. Brave is black like you and so often Google Photos mixes your photos with his photos, but you are completely different. Brave thinks he is a squirrel, he eats cardboard boxes all the time and he is the author of the worst mischiefs happening at our home right now. He is cute and sweet and very independent, he rarely stays with us, but when you pet him, it’s like he was never pet before and he becomes super sweet. Manny is a red cat. Super close to your mom, he used to spend so much time chewing on her blanket as if he was still a baby cat. He is scared about everything, even the smallest noise scare him away.

I wish you were here to get to know them. I wonder that they think when they see your photos and I wonder what they think when they see me crying like I’m doing right now, like a stupid guy who can’t forget his cutie pie.

Anyway, life goes on, I guess. We miss you every single day and if there is one thing that comforts me is that I am sure one day we will meet again and I look forward to that moment. I’ll give you all the hugs I should have given you when you were here and I’ll play all the times I should have played more with you.

Every single night, when it’s time to go to bed, I turn the TV projector off, and I remember how you always heard that little beep and immediately run upstairs, meowing like crazy, super excited that we would have slept together close to each other.

Wherever you are, I miss you my dear Holly.