Two weeks since George left us. Tonight it was all about flashbacks. I was almost going to the kitchen drawer that had George’s medications, then forgot that I don’t need to do that anymore. I wanted to check Brave and Manny’s weight using the scale app, but got multiple notifications that told me “hey, George has not used the litter box in the last X days”. I tried to see how to turn off George’s profile on the app, but then I had this strong feeling that I had to keep the profile, just in case I needed to check his urination frequency for the doctors. I just kept the profile there. Even if I know this is useless, I keep having this feeling that he is coming back soon, and that I just can’t remove all of his things because he may need them again!

Our mind plays tricks all the time and while these tricks are heart breaking, they offer me the opportunity to feel him. Tonight for a few minutes, while my heart was crashing with all these flashbacks, it was like George was still here with me. All the routines we had reminded me of him and I had the feeling I could see him, waiting for his treats at the cabinet, or sleeping on his white fluffy bed in the living room closet to the window, ready to get his evening pills. And now while I’m typing this post in the bathroom (I know, it’s not fancy), I am somehow eager to go to bed thinking that he might be on top of the bed waiting for me, something I always interpreted as “he is doing fine, he walked up the stairs and jumped on the bed, he is fine”.

I miss my George and I hope he’ll come back soon.