Tonight will be the third night that I go to bed without you, and I can’t stop crying. I miss you everywhere I go and I see you everywhere I go. I wake up in the morning, and I wait to see you on the bed. I go down the stairs, and I expect you to zoom in front of me (and that’s why I always keep my hands on the stairs’ handrails). And then I have these flashes where I see your face and I just can’t stop busting into tears. And I keep thinking about you that night, when your heart stopped beating, and you were all by yourself in that freaking hospital. I should not have let you there, but I was hoping they could help you. I was so much looking forward to welcoming you back home the day after, and start one more time the recovery journey I was hoping to give you. And life took you away from me, my little sweet and shy George. And now life is weird without you and without your sister Holly. It’s like a full segment of my life is gone forever…and I just need to continue thinking that one day I’ll see you, otherwise I can just go crazy at the idea of not seeing you forever. My two beautiful souls, I wanted to deeply to spend my entire life with you on my side. I wanted these moments to last forever. When you both were here with me.

George, my cute little George, I just wish there is life after this, and I wish you are now somewhere having fun, eating a lot and spending time under the sun. I just don’t want to forget you, I don’t want to forget the small details that I now remember very vividly because they are so fresh in my mind. I don’t want you to become just a memory, I want you to be here with me every single day, even if that means crying every single day because I can’t reach you.

I miss you miss you miss you. Those eyes, they were magical. I miss them and I can’t think that those eyes are not in this world anymore. I miss you, my patato, sleep well tonight and come see me in my dreams, please!